This is a 2022 update of a ~2006 question!
Heidi writes:
Hi Molly, thank you so much for your site, it’s been tremendously helpful.
I have a question; I just figured out my Neptune is in my 7th house, which serves to obscure my purpose (as well as relationships). How do you overcome the “negative” influences of a planet? I’ve tried looking at the positive aspects of Neptune, but empathy and understanding don’t really seem to have much to do with figuring out what my purpose it. Can you help me?
Hi Heidi!
Neptune in the 7th house means you experience Neptune’s energy in your partnerships and close relationships. Here are some key terms for Neptune.
Looking at these keywords gives us some starting points to unpack this placement. You might sacrifice your own needs and have a pattern of getting involved too quickly. You might get involved with people who are needy in some way.. people who don’t give back.. or people who are unattainable. Neptune gives you the gift of imagination, which you can use to see what you want to be there rather than what’s really there!
Crappy Childhood Fairy on Youtube taught me a term: Limerence. Limerence is an emotional state where you tend to get attached to a fantasy version of someone, often someone who is unavailable, lost, or even fictional. This is often connected to an experience of loss or abandonment in early childhood. Limerence allows a channel for unexpressed and unhealed Neptunian feelings of loss, grief, and pining.
And those unexpressed feelings are often the key to that Neptune house. Neptune is a place where escapes are tempting, like escaping into the promise of a fresh new relationship. But you’ll tend to make the same mistakes over and over until you face that grief, that fear, that thing you’ve been avoiding, feel the feelings, and move into better alignment with yourself.
So, how to direct it more positively? Well, getting involved in Neptunian pursuits in positive ways is one thing to do. Neptune is the idea of “serve or suffer.” You need to be giving selflessly in some way. Find an outlet for selfless giving that’s positive and feeds your soul. Like volunteering. Rescuing animals. Cultivating your own spiritual side. The best partner for you may be someone who carries that Neptune vibe. Someone with prominent Pisces placements. An artist or musician. A nurse or healer. Someone who’s very intuitive.
But don’t go all-in until your grown-up side, your Saturnian side, your realistic self, gives the seal of approval. Do you trust this person? Why? Do your friends like them? Most importantly, do you see this person for their true self, or have you built them up in your mind? Why? Are you chasing a dream or grounded in reality? Why? The why’s are the most interesting– and they are usually found in the chart’s Aspects.
Further reading
- Birth Charts for Beginners
- Neptune
- Meanings of the houses
- Where does Neptune appear in your birth chart?
