
Healing work involves feeling, something many of us don’t or won’t do because it’s too painful. But healing is not all love and light, you know. To truly help someone with their darkness, you have to be able to go into the darkness with them, unafraid.
To feel into nature, to feel into another person, to be a healer, you have to feel it all and be okay with it. You have to allow the deepest self to feel it all, even the hard stuff— the pain of the woods cleared to build those awful condos. The pain of the trees topped and mangled by the so-called arborists who work for the electric company. The pain of the shrubs overhanging my driveway that I myself cut back mindlessly and without their permission. The pain of the dead animal, reduced to a pile of meat in the middle of the interstate at rush hour. The pain of the damaged ecosystem. The pain of my lost father.
You see, the topped tree and I have something in common.
There’s this idea that thankfully seems less prevalent over the last few years, that if you refuse to acknowledge the darkness, it will go away. It doesn’t work. “Love and light” people scare me, because they aren’t genuine. Healing is not all angels and incense and crystals. It’s anger and tears and wounds, too. Drunkenness and despair and ridiculousness. Repression is not healthy. It’s okay to be sad about these things. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to feel scared. It takes courage to move through the world feeling it all.
A week or two ago, I heard someone tell a story to illustrate the difference between a rich person and a poor person. Two men go out to a country road and are asked to say what they see. The poor man sees “nothing” but a beautiful landscape, wonderful sunset. The rich man sees McDonald’s. I thought, oh how sad. Surely one doesn’t have to think like that to become wealthy. Surely one can love the earth more than she loves money, and still prosper.
Inspired by Stephen Buhner and his workshop on Sacred Plant Medicine. Thank you Stephen, and your wonderful Taurus Moon.
- 23 October 2007
- Comments (7)


Molly Cliborne

1 · C. · 8 November 2007
Hey Molly, this blog struck a chord with me. It’s refreshing to read a more realistic description of pain/grief. It’s exactly how I’ve been feeling and I just wanted to share. I lost a family member just recently and it hurts so much. I’m sorry to hear your Dad is lost.
2 · catwoman · 15 November 2007
Hey Molly
I really love your blog. Your writing voice is both down-to-earth and romantic. I suppose that’s the Taurus speaking.
keep up the wonderful work
-a
3 · ST · 9 December 2007
“Love and Light” people scare me too because they are denying their human-ness. What else are we here for if not to experience FEELING happy, sad, joyous, betrayed, loved, etc. Denying the “negative” feelings is denying ourselves – and THAT is truly SAD.
Love the passion in your post!
4 · Sharon · 26 August 2009
I have this ability to feel others pain significantly, and realized this “gift” but I’m not sure how to use it because when I offer my compassion they deny those feelings but later wondered how I sensed it.
Molly, I need your help because I’m going through a hard time.
My birth date is 7/28/66 4:36pm Chicago.
I had breast cancer last year and lost my job. I’m still looking and tried to get my band up and running, but my hand started to go hurting my ability to play my instrument. So that was the last straw for me. I decided to go back to school this fall, and tomorrow go to unemployment office and show that I applied to over 500 jobs and didn’t get on.
I have a long list of doctor visits I’m trying to get the mojo to go. I use to be such the Lion, nothing was too hard, and I loved any challenge. Now I’m so far gone that I’ve never been this scared or desparate for help. Any advice?
Thanks,
Sharon
5 · Molly · 29 August 2009
Hang in there, Sharon. There’s something new coming your way between now and mid October as a new 2-year Mars cycle begins. Maybe something with a connection to the past as Mercury retro is about to begin. An old contact or old job. Sep. 4 is a good time to start making calls. Think: old friends, old bosses, old coworkers. Also a good time to ask around about someone who may be able to help with your hand.
6 · Maria Shanti · 3 September 2009
Thank you Molly for this article.
I am in this kind of space lately, a series of intense emotional experiences opening up old wounds in a very violent way, to the point of shock. In the beginning I could really not see why not just stay in the “love and light” space. Now I feel ready to explore the pain, fear and darkness. I just don’t trust the surface anymore, it’s has become both an instictive and a conscious response of mine to simply go deeper…with everything. No, it’s not fun or easy. It’s sincere, authentic and respectful – to both myself and people around me.
I guess I’ve found a way to welcome pluto on my descendant…
Sharon – I wish you all the best for your health, spirits and the job situation.I sincerely hope things will improve for you as soon as possible.
7 · alisema · 2 July 2010
Thank you so much for this article. I too am going through a lot of pain, death & rebirth. Marriage over, finances close to nil, revisiting painful past in therapy, lost love of my life who just died, moving residence soon… I can’t numb out or by-pass the pain & grief otherwise, it will pop up again elsewhere. The universe gives us what we need at that time not necessarily what we want, in order to grow. We must honor that & be ok in the discomfort & sorrow, joy & peacefulness of it all. Fearlessness & openness is key.
I’m a late Virgo- Though, when does “it” have potential to let up, Molly? Just curious. :)